You’ll know at the finish line

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

At first, I was nervous.  Very nervous.  I had spent the past few months training for this race.  I was training my whole body and doing cardio 2-3 times a week.  That is, until I pinched a nerve in my upper spine.  I had to take a 4-week break from my workouts, during this time, I apparently lost my self discipline.

When I was finally able to return to my training, I started doing it sporadically and never got around to doing cardio.

Fast Forward to July 14th: race day.

After having to push our heat back 30 minutes, we were finally at the starting line.  I was getting more nervous by the second.  Hell, even as I write this, those feelings are coming back.

And the opening didn’t help.  We had to jog up an incredibly steep hill.  “If the rest of the race is like this,” I thought, “I’m not going to last very long at all.”

Upon finally reaching the top of the giant, steep hill, we got to our first obstacle. We had to crawl under a 5′ wall with a 2 ft gap, jump over a 4 ft wall, and go through a 6 ft wall with 2×2 ft opening; rinse and repeat.  Easy enough, this is the kind of thing you’d picture in any obstacle course.

From there, the course directed us through the trees, where we ran into an older gentleman taking a rest.  We couldn’t help but notice when he pulled a can of beer from his back pack.  After joking with him a bit, he offered us a can and we accepted.  I’m not going to lie, it really helped.  Between my high level of nervousness and the first mega-hill, my mouth and throat were bone-dry.  It was at this time, that my nerves were eased and I really started to enjoy the race.

After clearing the trees, we were made to run up another hill, though not as steep.  It was here that we made our first friends during the race.  Together, we yelled our Spartan cry “Aroo! Aroo! Aroo!”, and shared our thoughts on the course.  “I heard that x obstacle is the halfway mark!” or “There’s apparently a 200 ft slip n’ slide on the way down!”  “…No way, that’s so awesome!!”

Eventually, we found ourselves at the rope climb.  The objective was simple:  After jumping in the water, climb up one of the ropes and ring the bell at the top.  If you failed, you had to 30 burpees.

I had been looking forward to this one and was eager to prove myself.  I ran down the mound into the water and was immediately surprised that it went up to my shoulders.  This is it:

I jumped up and grabbed hold of the highest knot I could reach.  I then pulled up my legs and secured them on the knot below.  I then continued to making my way up the rope, securing my hands and feet with every knot.  Upon reaching the top, I looked around, the view was amazing.  Not because the land was ascetically pleasing, but because of the effort I had to put forth to be able to see it.  I then remembered that I still had a goal to complete, so I promptly rang the bell and made my way downward.

After the rope climb, we were rewarded with our first of two water stations.  My thirst had been quenched by the half-can of (warm) beer, but the cup of water was still a delicious, delicious, treat.

After the water station, we found our first endurance-based obstacle.  We had to grab and empty 5-gallon bucket, fill it up with stones, and carry it uphill and back downhill.  The objective wasn’t tough by any means, just tiring.

After hiking through the trees and climbing up/down rope nets on our way to the top of the mountain, we came upon, in my opinion, the toughest obstacle in the course.

Pancakes, they were called.  We were made to carry soft sacks that were filled with 40 lbs of sand down a hill, around, and back up a very steep hill.  I had a somewhat easy time on the way down, but decided to rest at bottom because of the upcoming task.

I found myself having to create “semi-objectives” in order to complete this obstacle.  I would find a spot to reach, or pick a number of steps to take before I would let myself collapse and rest.  I looked over and noticed that Randy had the idea to just pick up the pancake, throw it as far as he could, and walk to it; remembering this idea at a later obstacle really saved my ass. At times, I found myself taking far more steps than I had planned – I was determined.  I wanted nothing more than to reach the top and throw the pancake one final time.

Randy and I made a lot of friends while completing this task.  Sometimes we found ourselves in small groups discussing the race, comparing our times (there were many heats), etc.

We knew that the second and final water station was just around the bend, but weren’t expecting another obstacle to stand in our way:  Monkey Bars.

The gaps between the bars were wider than most and would fluctuate in elevation.  I saw quite a few people hesitate, slip, fall and be forced to do 30 burpees as punishment.  I can only assume they didn’t do much on the playground at recess, because man, did I breeze through this one.  I swung to the first bar and let my momentum carry me through the rest.

After another savory cup (or two) of water, I finally met with failure at an obstacle.  We were made to use a pully-system to bring a 60lb bucket to the top of the obstacle.  I’d say this thing weighed bore than I did, if I didn’t know any better.  I pulled with all of my might, but it kept pulling back.  I then planted my feet against a tire so that I could go nowhere and used all of my strength.  It was incredibly tough, but I managed to get the bucket 12-15 feet in the air.  Suddenly, I was being pulled up and could not catch myself for the life of me.  My punishment?  30 burpees.

I vowed to rock the next obstacle.  Luckily, all we had to do was scale some 10′ walls.  I saw many teams using each other as stools and pushing each other up as recommended.  To make up for my previous obstacle, I had to 1up them, which I did.  With a running start, I jumped up, grabbed the top of the ledge, and pulled myself up.  Without thinking, I just jumped down and slightly hurt my ankle, lesson learned. For the second wall, I did the same; except, instead of pulling myself up, I just held on kind of walked up.

I should add that I wore skele-toes for this race.  In case you don’t know, they are those shoes with the toes that conform to the shape of your foot.  They were perfect for this event.

Unfortunately, my awesome shoes had nothing to do with the next task, an army crawl under barbed wire.

This obstacle wasn’t hard, it was just long.  The barbed wire was probably 1.5 – 2 ft above mud and rocks, with the addition of bails of hay to get in your way (heh, rhyme).

Soon after this, came one of the best parts: The slip n’ slide.

It was 200 ft. long, down hill, and ramped you into a (muddy) lake.  From there, we were made to swim to the other side, diving under barrels along the way.

Over the next half-mile or so, Randy and I scaled over muddy ledges, hopped across tiny tree stumps (loved this obstacle) and eventually found ourselves at our final endurance-based task.

Our job was to pull a cement slab, that was attached to a chain, down a hill, through some shallow water, and back up a slippery, muddy hill.  The downhill part was okay, the water was easier, but the slippery slope was troublesome.  It was here, that I recalled Randy’s idea of throwing the pancake, meeting it, and repeating.  I would walk to the end of chain, pull it all in, and repeat.

Skip forward:  Finish Line.

…and then, after coming around a bend, I saw it.  I saw the finish line.  Never before have I felt such a rush.  Any energy that I had lost, was immediately returned.  The only things that stood in my way were fire, a slick ledge with rope to pull yourself up, and finally, 4 Spartans ready to knock me over with their giant Q-Tips.

With a great run and an even greater leap, I cleared the fire, ran straight up the wall that had tricked others, and stopped in front of the Spartans.

I wanted to calculate possible routes to dodge their blows, but there were none.  So I just ran in, dodged the strikes that I could, and got hit by others.

When the rush was over, I found a medal around my neck.  The past 4 months of anticipating, training..over.  I worked hard, I pushed myself, I’ve become nothing short of powerful beyond measure.

I should really…

I should really start throwing out more posts soon..

I’ll bust one out by the end of the week!

Presidential Candidates and Media Censorship

First and foremost, the purpose of the Media is to be the “Watchdogs of Society.”  We can’t always be ever-vigilant and know what is going on at all times, so the Media solves this problem for us – or at least it’s supposed to.

The problem is, most media sources are owned by bigger companies.  These companies, in turn, act as “Gatekeepers.”  So let’s say Microsoft bought out CNN.  If Microsoft does something really fucked up, CNN cannot report on it because Microsoft is their parent company.  Nor can FOX or USA Today for that matter.  Because Microsoft can just pull advertising, causing the two to lose money.

In case you’re not aware, they make the majority of their money from advertising (otherwise Newspapers, etc would be a lot more expensive).

To what does this all equate?  Media Censorship.

Enter the real issue at hand:  Ron Paul’s candidacy.

I feel like the masses don’t even know that he’s running for president, or that he’s even doing well.  I was at work this morning, watching CNN report about Santorum dropping out (thank god) of the race.  It depresses me how quick they were to talk about Romney vs. Obama – especially since they made a point to post in the footnotes (in tiny text) that Ron Paul is still in the race.

This isn’t even the first time it’s happened.  Ralph Nader got almost no media coverage (because even bad PR can be good PR).  Hell, he was banned from the major political debates.

Why do they lack media attention?  Because they oppose the very corporations that own the media.

-I will stop ranting and get to the main point of my post:

I would absolutely love to work as a journalist after graduation, but what’s the point if I’m not even allowed to do my job?

(as I side note, if I made any factual errors, please correct me – I would love to be wrong about this)

Politics and Critical Thinking

So after doing all reading and no posting on my blog for months, I feel like I should contribute something.  I have been (sort of) following the recent events and the individuals associated with said events.

I will come right out and say that I don’t completely grasp everything politically.  It is a fault of my own, as my thoughts are almost always elsewhere.  I can list potential politicians, but I can’t shoot out facts left and right on why I (don’t) agree with them, etc. 

All I know is that I hate the two party system.  I feel that people pick a side, and stay with it.  They blindly follow the guys in red or the guys in blue – they don’t even consider that people can dress in green, purple, maroon, whatever.  “But if you vote Green, that’s one less vote for the Blues, than the Red’s will surely win!”  Well, if you (and everyone else) continue to think like that, yes.  Why not do some critical thinking (which I admit, I really need to do more).  What is your team REALLY going to do for you, for your country, for your race?  Instead of picking one of the two guys who will fuck shit up less, why not pick someone who will legitimately make it his(or her) priority to fix whatever needs to be fixed(or to not “fix” what isn’t “broken”)?

So, I have a handful of friends, or acquaintances, that I look up to politically.  Every time I read one of their posts, or sit down and have a discussion with them, my current ways of thinking are challenged.  I absolutely love it.  That being said, when I’m out of the loop on something, I tend to see their point on something and temporarily agree until I can the chance to investigate the matter myself; in which case, I try to find ways to challenge it.  I think the method is all well and good until I start to lack the time to research the idea/policy/whatever.  Their general idea starts to get ingrained in my head, and I continue to fall back on it, because I lack my own thoughts on the matter – and that is a very dangerous thing. 

Granted, I don’t do that sort of things with huge umbrella topics like gun control, etc; but I still do it on occasions, without even realizing it. Of course, I follow the opinions of those peers because they’ve proven to be well-versed, critical thinking, and all around reliable for information, etc.

I apologize if my thoughts made no sense to you.  I am very new to this sort of thing.  But if you have the time, I ask that you leave some comments – be as critical as you deem necessary. I don’t want this to be a mere diary, 

I should also note that my time is very limited these days. So if you have any readings to recommend, I will read them when I do get a chance, I just hope it is sooner rather than later.

Black Friday, Affordable Haircuts, and Fantastic Weather

Here I am at work again, today being my Friday (yay).

The first article I read in today’s newspaper was about Black Friday, which is turning into “Black Thursday.”  The article listed groups of businesses that will be opening even earlier this year, with the record going to Toys R’ Us at 10:00 p.m. Thanksgiving night.

I don’t get it.  I really don’t.  Is it really necessary to shop in huge mobs to get some savings?  Hell, I remember one year a Walmart employee was trampled by a Black Friday mob running in for goods.  It’s really depressing.  Fights break out everywhere, people drive recklessly from store to store, and the poor employees, they should get holiday pay on Black Friday.

USA Today’s “Across the USA” – In Canton Ohio, a barber is letting people “trim prices to what they can afford.”  He says that “times are hard”, “pay what you can”  and has accepted $5 for haircuts normally priced at $12.

Reading that really made me smile.  Also, it is a complete counter to the Black Friday article, which is even better.  But anyways, I really like what that gentleman is doing for his community and can only hope that others follow in his footsteps.  I really hope he finds a way to make enough money to stay open so that he may continue this service to others.

And in other news:  the weather’s been fantastic lately!  I absolutely love fall.  I enjoy temperatures where I can feel warm with just a hoodie on.  I feel like it normally doesn’t last long, but this year seems to be different.  If it could stay this way until right before Christmas, that’d be pretty amazing.  To anyone who might be reading this, what is your favorite season/temperature?

That Girl, The Coast Guard, and a bit of a Job Plan

Hello Everyone,

I’m back at work for another 3 days!  The four days I had off consisted of getting to see a fantastic local band, getting a pool table, and having a much-needed rude awakening.

So last night, my favorite local band, That Girl, played at The Thought Lot (the art gallery I help run).  After seeing them open for George Stanford a month before at the same venue, I was ecstatic to see them again.  That Girl is an Indy, Folk, Pop band featuring a keyboard that really brings it all together.  The band itself, is still a little new, and as such, can be a little disorganized while setting up or between songs – that being said, once they start playing, they compliment each other and the band’s positive vibes fill the room.  And even though they may be a little disorganized between songs, one might not even notice, because they fill the time with stories, jokes, etc.  All in all, I feel they have a lot of potential as a band, and I hope they don’t change any time soon.

Also yesterday, I had a bit of an awakening, as I mentioned above.  Long story short, I’m 22, no longer in school because I can’t afford it, and working a mere 25 hours a week – I really need to figure something out soon.  I do have some ideas of what I would like to do career-wise, and that’s either Public Relations or something with Computers.  Now, computers I would need some schooling for, so that sadly won’t work.  Now Public Relations on the other hand, I feel like I could make it by without some sort of degree.  That field is all about who you know and how well you put yourself out there, and considering my large amount of community involvement, I might be able to make something work.

I had also been considering joining the Coast Guard, but I’ve been calling the recruiter every week for a month now, and he won’t return my calls.  It may be a good thing though, because I really don’t know if it’s the right thing for me.  But I do know that they have PR positions, and even better, a position that would essentially make me an environmentalist.  The environmental position would be pretty sweet in my book; I’d get to cruise around, clean up oil spills, save animals, and better the planet as a whole.

Despite all of the above potentials, I still have a huge wave of uncertainty washing over me, and it’s a little scary.  I do know that I need to start by finding a full-time position (I would very much prefer an office job, but I may have to settle for manual labor for now).  So I guess my current plan is to hit up temp. agencies until I get a job.  If that job is manual labor or otherwise not quite the job I’m looking for, then I will keep looking while working said job.  Other than that, I don’t know, I guess I will either have to save up a lot of money for school or keep doing what I can to get into the PR field.

Jazz, grenades, and fun at work

Here I am again, working the front desk.

To update yesterday’s post, I managed to find the elderly, scholarly, gentleman from Panama.  We talked again for a bit; this time I was able to ask him how to find his music.  If you guys are interested, he told me to Google (or wiki): “latin bass player alfonso” (and also that is real name is Joseph).  Once I look later, I’ll throw up a link.

So, I was reading “USA Today” as per usual earlier (specifically the “Across the United States” section, where they give a brief news story from each state) and for third or fourth time in a week, Hawaii’s article talked about what its officials are doing for the poor and hungry.  –Just thought I’d give Hawaii a shout out for being awesome.

Also in that section of the paper, I saw that New Jersey is erecting a statue for a gentleman by the name of Henry Svehla.  He was a 19-year-old serving in the Korean War who smothered a Grenade’s blast with his own body to save his comrades.  59 years later – he is finally being posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor.

Approximately halfway through our shifts, front desk workers are expected to call other local hotels to check their availability for the evening. Of course, with the exception of our night auditor, I’m the only one who actually does this.  For some reason, I actually enjoy doing this; it feels like we’re trading Pokemon cards over the phone or something: “I have a Blastoise!  What do you have?” Yes, I often relate things to my childhood..

So today is the end of my (3 day) work week.  I had originally meant for this blog to be only my work days, but I feel like I an give worthy updates on my days off – probably even better ones – but I guess we’ll see.

While at work, I finally got a chance to start reading some Star Wars.  I am beginning with “Darth Bane: Path of Destruction,” and so far, I’m in love with the book.  It is written in such a way that it the “bad guy” becomes the protagonist.  I thoroughly enjoy thought provoking readings such as this.  So many novels, movies, readings, etc purposefully give you one view, but leave enough ambiguity that one might be able to dig deeper and make his own (fair) judgement.  With that in mind, if anyone has any movies/books/readings with similar themes they’d like to recommend, go for it.  🙂

On the Philosophies of Love

This was the first paper I wrote for my Independent Study Philosophy of Love class (and the first real philosophy paper I’ve ever written period).  I eventually want to keep expanding on this paper and discuss minor point I bring up in full detail.  At any rate, here it is:

Plato’s Ladder of Erotic Love

Love.  Why is it that upon saying this word everyone immediately knows what I mean, yet we all define it differently?  In this essay, I will be discussing one of the first recorded theories of love, Eros as discussed in the Symposium by Plato. More specifically, this theory comes from Socrates’ speech about his dialogues with Diotima.  My main focus will be on the speeches recorded in Plato’sSymposium, as well as some reading from Soble’s Eros, Agape, and Philia.  I will then make my own sort of assessment with some help from “Sorcerer Love: A Reading of Plato, Symposium, Diotima’s Speech” by Lucy Iragaruy.

Eros, the Platonic theory of Love, is a dialogue between Socrates and Diotima, Socrates’ mentor in the mysteries of love (Eros).  Diotima begins by telling us the story of Eros, which is necessary to understand the theory of erotic love.  In the Myth, Eros was conceived on the day celebrating Aphrodite’s birth when Penia (poverty), slept with a drunken Poros (wealth and resource).   As a son of both a “have” and a “have-not,” he [Eros] is “always poor…he is tough and shriveled and shoeless and homeless, always lying on the dirt without a bed, sleeping at people’s doorsteps and in roadsides under the sky,” always in need.  On his father’s side, “he is a schemer after the beautiful and the good; he is brave, impetuous, and intense, an awesome hunter, and always weaving snares…a lover of wisdom.” (Diotima)

With this in mind, Diotima then tells Socrates that not only is Eros not a great god, but he is neither beautiful nor good.  Eros is a Daimon, a being between the gods and the mortals, a great spirit if you will.  He is neither foolish nor wise, neither poor nor wealthy, neither ugly nor beautiful.  To quote Sorcerer Love: “If Eros possessed all that he desired, he would desire no more.  He must be lacking in order to desire still.  But if he had no share in the beautiful and the good things, he could no longer desire them.”

Perhaps one of the most important things introduced in The Symposium is Plato’s theory of the Ladder of Love.  We, with help from our lovers, ascend the Ladder, which, step by step, leads from the love of beautiful bodies, to the love of all physical beauty. We eventually ascend further to the love of beautiful habits and institutions to beautiful doctrines, and eventually to a sort of absolution of beauty, at which time we are one with the ultimate aspect of beauty.

The same goes for us mortals.  We are on an ongoing quest to not only better ourselves, but to also gain a sort of immortality.  By finding another and coming together, we have the ability to reproduce and spread our legacies; it is through our legacies that we obtain immortality, as my own interpretation says. So is immortality the top rung of the ladder?  To avoid any confusion, I will start from the beginning and take you down what I believe to be Love’s path via narrative.

Meet Joey, a working middle class man in his late 20’s.  He leads what he believes to be a good life: a good job, good friends, a nice house, etc.  While at a party with his friends; Joey meets woman named Lisa.  After a few drinks together, they really hit it off and end the night with some passion.  When Joey wakes up the next morning, there is no sign of Lisa.  In his mind, he just had a one night stand without the baggage, being the womanizer he was, he was perfectly content.

When we first meet Joey, we see that he is very content living a life without a romantic love.  He has never felt it, so we can assume that he does not miss it; after all, how can you miss that which you have never experienced?  At this point, one could say that Joey is only on the first rung of Plato’s Ladder.  So I ask, is there a clear problem in living life like this?

He continued living life as normal after that night, until he ran into her at the store.  After talking for a bit, they decided to go out for dinner, and eventually started dating, which turned into his first serious relationship.

At this point, one may presume that Joey has taken is first step up the ladder that is the path of love, this Platonic Ladder of Beauty.  Although he hasn’t quite started climbing the ladder, one might say he is far better off than before.  Now that he has had a minor taste of what romantic love is, he might be more prone to seeking it. One might compare his position to that of a philosopher who has a minor grasp of what it might mean to be wise; thus, he is on a quest for enlightenment.

Things between Joey and Lisa started like they always do.  Everything was bright and happy and fairy tale-esque. However, as time went on, they had struggles here and there, but they got through them; Joey had some sacrifices to make, but in the long run, he was happy to make them.  See, for Joey, he had always had a tough time remaining loyal; but with Lisa, things were different, he actually wanted things to work out between them.

As Joey makes more and more conscious decisions to sacrifice some of the old ideas that were the old Joey, and worked to become a new and better Joey, he starts making his way up his own erotic ladder.  Perhaps by remaining loyal bodily, he is starting to look past the body and into the spirit; he is looking up the ladder and climbing one rung at a time, over a very large period of time, of course.

As time went on, Joey had come to realize that Lisa might be the one for him; he was definitely in love.  No matter where he was, she was in his thoughts.  He wanted to be with her forever, so he devised a plan to propose to her in the sweetest way.  He took her out to a nice restaurant, and then as they were leaving, he blindfolded her and told her he had a surprise for her.  He led her to the spot in the local park where the two ended their first date, took off her blindfold, got down on one knee, and proposed.

When one “gets butterflies” in his or her stomach, what does it mean?  Why do we practice romanticism?  Joey puts together a nice, heart-warming plan to propose to Lisa.  Why might person x surprise person y with a rose and a box of chocolates on their anniversary?  Are we as humans addicted to this “rush” of feelings that we get?   This makes me wonder, when we do something nice for our loved ones, are we truly trying to be altruistic or do we do it for our own rush, this feeling of niceness, that we give ourselves upon doing something nice?

Lisa shakes her head, apologizes, and tells him that she doesn’t have the feelings for him that she once had.  Needless to say, Joey is absolutely crushed.  He had been with her for two years now and had started to become mentally dependent on her.  What a rut.  He still has the same job, the same house, same friends, yet he is nowhere near as happy as he was at the beginning of the story.  Why is this?

The man, who had at one time not cared at all for women other than bodily urges, is now at the mercy of a single woman.  He had tasted love, and is now stuck with its bittersweet flavor.  Is it no longer possible for Joey to achieve immortality?  He might perhaps achieve a lesser sense of immortality if he leaves behind a legacy worth remembering, but that is all.

So what would’ve happened if Lisa said yes?  Hopefully Joey would ascend up Plato’s Ladder as he continues down life’s path.  One might ask, “Okay, so he’s reached the top, now what?”  Earlier, I referenced the final rung representing the ultimate aspect of beauty.  What does this mean exactly?  Let us take some time to explore this idea.

He has transcended to a stage in which he sees and appreciates all forms of beauty.  One might say he is the epitome of a worldly person; one who sees the good in everything.  He no longer frets over life’s trivial issues, nor does he ever truly lose sight of his lover.  She is always with him, and he with her; if not physically, then in spirit, the two are one.

And that, my friend, is love.  Or at the very least, what it ought to be.  If you wish to live forever, alongside a loved one, follow this path of erotic love.  Even if you are not able to ascend to the highest state of love, you will better yourself as a person in your attempt to do so.

Jedi, Musicians, and Former Presidents

Hello all, Darin here.

So I work front desk at a hotel, which leaves me a lot of down time.  That being said, I stumble upon some interesting things. I found myself wishing I could remember these things at a later date, so I decided a blog might be a good way to do so.

So I just finished reading an article in today’s issue of “USA Today” on Former-President Clinton.  Essentially, the article compared the Obama/Clinton presidencies and the economies of the two times.  Now, I know from different figures that Clinton rocked the economy, but after reading this, I realized that I didn’t know how or why.

Politics have never been my strong point (and probably never will be).  That being said, reading the article really wants me to find and read a book about Clinton’s Presidency as a whole.

But enough of that.  I also decided today that I wanted to start reading some of the Star Wars books.  I was hoping to start from the very beginning, but I will instead be starting with “Darth Bane,” which is apparently early, just not the first.

My shift after that was spent talking to an elderly gentleman from Panama.  I had helped him by moving his bags into his new room earlier, as he was unable.  We talked the whole way there and he eventually decided to come back down to the lobby and talk with me some more.

He asked me general questions about the United States, the ranged from the Mason Dixon Line to the “Four Corners.”  He apparently was a big jazz musician in his day.  He talked about that for quite a while.  I wish I could remember his stage name; I will try to find him later and ask him.  This man was really the epitome of the word “Gentleman.”

I am now going to bring my first post to a close, as my shift will be ending soon.  If someone ends up reading this, I hope you’ve enjoyed it.

Thank you.